24 Hours Home-Schooling During a Global Pandemic.
8am – Wake up dribbling into the pillow. What day, week and year is it? Wednesday, first day of home-schooling in lockdown number 2 in the midst of a global pandemic. Bloody fantastic. 8-8.30am – Negotiate with two princesses on what outfits are acceptable for the day. After umpteenth shout outs for them to get their underwear on “JUST CHOOOOSE SOME KNICKERS, IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THEY HAVEN’T GOT FROZEN ON THEM – HURRY (THE FUCK) UP” Of course, I don’t actually swear – only under my breath, it’s time to actually put some clothes on. I inform Kaia that a bridesmaids dress isn’t needed for the day and tell…
A little (humorous) snapshot of 2020
2020 January I’m pregnant but it’s okay because the girls are both in school in the mornings. Hahahahaha. I am smug. The word on the streets and the Chinese Whisper (gettit?) is that China has the flu or something, who actually gives a shit? They’re a million light years away! February More people have the Chinese flu, apparently it’s been spread by some bat eating twats in Wuhan (not you Xing Xong – you’re my friend and I know for a fact you don’t like bats). FACT March Boris the albino porcupine (no offence to any real-life albino porcupines) goes on the news confidently to say that everything is under…
5 Awkward Questions That Every Parent Dreads
Mother’s are Superheroes. That’s a fact. They don’t have 9 to 5 jobs where clocking in and out is easy (gone are the good ol’days). They are on call 24/7. In fact, if you saw the following job advert, would you actually apply? I think not. Motherhood is incredibly rewarding, but let’s face it, it’s also bloody knackering. Mums often have real ‘full time jobs’ as well as having to deal with all of the above. Their brains are frazzled. Then as soon as your little ones learn to talk, the tricky questions begin and your already frazzled brain becomes even more worn out with the never-ending stream of; why? who?…
Top 5…Essential Baby Products
The Exhausted Mum’s Top 5…Essential Baby Products With so many products available on the market, trying to figure out what you need for your new bundle of joy is a bit of a minefield. I’ve put together a list (aside from all the standard products like cots/prams/clothes etc) of the things that I found super useful when my two daughters were born: 1.Breast Pump & Nipple Cream-If you’re planning on giving breastfeeding a go, then it’s a good idea to invest in an electronic breast pump. A breast pump will enable you to release some tension from your engorged breasticles, not to mention giving you a break in the long run as you’ll…
The Turd Burglar & The Unicorn Wand
So I had to share Thursday’s highlight with you. Today…drumroll please Kaia Jagdev (11 months) did her first shit on the toilet. I’m so proud of her I could burst.If in my younger years I’d imagined the sorts of events that would make me burst with pride, I’d have had a serious get-a-grip chat with myself. But here I am, at the ripe old age of 36, on a huge high over a turd. Gia’s assistance was invaluable, she pulled her stool (no pun intended) in front of the toilet consoling “pant, pant, push my darling.” Kaia looked like an angry Phil Mitchell about to burst a blood vessel, meanwhile, Gia just carried on…
Ways to make new mum friends
The Exhausted Mum’s Top 5…Ways To Make New Mum Friends Becoming a mum is hands down the most life changing experience that you will ever go through. Becoming a mum is hands down the most life changing experience that you will ever go through. Your pre-baby self was able to do whatever the hell she wanted: Fancy a holiday? Go on the internet and just book it. Want a pee? Go to the toilet Take a shower? Strip off & just stand under those jets (for a long time) Want a hot coffee? Whack the kettle on Fancy a snack? Make yourself one Leave the house? Grab your keys/handbag and walk out of the door (just like…
