2020 January I’m pregnant but it’s okay because the girls are both in school in the mornings. Hahahahaha. I am smug. The word on the streets and the Chinese Whisper (gettit?) is that China has the flu or something, who actually gives a shit? They’re a million light years away! February More people have the Chinese flu, apparently it’s been spread by some bat eating twats in Wuhan (not you Xing Xong – you’re my friend and I know for a fact you don’t like bats). FACT March Boris the albino porcupine (no offence to any real-life albino porcupines) goes on the news confidently to say that everything is under…