24 Hours Home-Schooling During a Global Pandemic.
8am – Wake up dribbling into the pillow. What day, week and year is it? Wednesday, first day of home-schooling in lockdown number 2 in the midst of a global pandemic. Bloody fantastic. 8-8.30am – Negotiate with two princesses on what outfits are acceptable for the day. After umpteenth shout outs for them to get their underwear on “JUST CHOOOOSE SOME KNICKERS, IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THEY HAVEN’T GOT FROZEN ON THEM – HURRY (THE FUCK) UP” Of course, I don’t actually swear – only under my breath, it’s time to actually put some clothes on. I inform Kaia that a bridesmaids dress isn’t needed for the day and tell…
The Turd Burglar & The Unicorn Wand
So I had to share Thursday’s highlight with you. Today…drumroll please Kaia Jagdev (11 months) did her first shit on the toilet. I’m so proud of her I could burst.If in my younger years I’d imagined the sorts of events that would make me burst with pride, I’d have had a serious get-a-grip chat with myself. But here I am, at the ripe old age of 36, on a huge high over a turd. Gia’s assistance was invaluable, she pulled her stool (no pun intended) in front of the toilet consoling “pant, pant, push my darling.” Kaia looked like an angry Phil Mitchell about to burst a blood vessel, meanwhile, Gia just carried on…
