Parenting

The Turd Burglar & The Unicorn Wand

So I had to share Thursday’s highlight with you. Today…drumroll please 

Kaia Jagdev (11 months) did her first shit on the toilet. I’m so proud of her I could burst.
If in my younger years I’d imagined the sorts of events that would make me burst with pride, I’d have had a serious get-a-grip chat with myself. But here I am, at the ripe old age of 36, on a huge high over a turd.

Gia’s assistance was invaluable, she pulled her stool (no pun intended) in front of the toilet consoling “pant, pant, push my darling.” 
Kaia looked like an angry Phil Mitchell about to burst a blood vessel, meanwhile, Gia just carried on searching for the turd. I’m seriously worried that when she starts school, I’ll get hauled in front of the Headmistress Office because my daughter is obsessed with orifices.

Anyway….Kaia didn’t like the intervention from the turd-burglar so ripped Gia’s bobble out which resulted in all hell breaking loose. I had one baby mid-turd and a very angry midget trying to yank the other off the toilet.

I succeeded to calm the situation by giving Gia the only thing that was at hand. A Tampax. I told her that this wasn’t any ordinary Tampax but a special Unicorn Wand. It worked. She projected her wand at Kaia “Abracadabra”, kissed her and said “well done gorgeous, I’m so proud of you, you did it sweetheart.”

Ahhhhh situation deflected; bum wiped, turd ejected, peace is restored once more to the Jagdev household. The only problem is, my daughter is now walking round with her “Unicorn Wand” permanently attached to her.

Thank God for Tampax. And Unicorns. I think a trip to The Entertainer is required.

I LOVE MY LIFE, I LOVE MY LIFE, I LOVE MY LIFE

Happy Thursday,

The Exhausted Mum